Do you feel as much confidence in yourself as you would like? … Few people could answer “yes” to this question. In fact, we have all felt insecurity and lack of confidence in ourselves, forming a barrier between what we are and what we want to be.
The good news is that to stop feeling fear and gain more confidence is a skill that is learned and trained (there is scientific evidence behind this).
So if you want to feel more confident about yourself in a single 2-minute step, keep reading why this is interesting.
“Gaining trust is fun. You go out to do that which gives you so much fear and confidence comes alone “
Raise your hand if you agree that being healthy is a complete lifestyle and not just certain parts of your routine.
Having more confidence in yourself is part of your well-being, your satisfaction with life and it becomes necessary to improve your daily routine.
If you have enough confidence in yourself, changing habits becomes much easier. It’s that simple
So, I want to start by asking you a question:
When was the last time you were afraid of not being able to achieve something?
(Take your time to think, here I wait for you)
The lack of self-confidence, no doubt relates to fear . In the end if you do not believe in yourself, you feel afraid of not being able to achieve what you propose and do not even try.
This kind of fear, you can experience when you want to change your habits .
I have always thought that feeling afraid and this lack of confidence in you is something similar to crossing a bridge:
You are determined to cross, but for some reason you feel that you can not get to the other extreme. So, you prefer to stay on that safe and comfortable shore (which you already know). And so, avoid the risk or simply save yourself the discomfort of maybe not being able to achieve it.
This “fear” limits your full potential. But, it is something that we all face, up to a point.
One of the things that more than once prevented me from taking action and reaching my goals, was precisely the fear of failure .
I did not think I could achieve most of the things I wanted to do.
Answering the question of the beginning; In my case, I have felt fear a thousand times. For example:
- I wanted to be a tennis player (I was older to learn it) and I was afraid of not being able to win a single match
- I wanted to study in another country, and I felt fear of the unknown and fail in the attempt.
- I wanted to learn another language (German) and I felt insecure that I would look ridiculous trying to talk
In all those moments, I definitely needed an extra dose of confidence in me. The good news was that I faced all those fears and managed to do all that I thought I could not do.
Maybe the same thing has happened to you in similar situations.
Sometimes even for very common things we feel insecurity. For example: a haircut, traveling or knowing a new place, learning something, dancing or approaching someone and saying hello .
Let me tell you that feeling fear is normal. It is even natural in humans.
This is how our caveman ancestors managed to transmit their genes. You needed to be very cautious to survive. His actions were limited and his “comfort zone” was also limited.
It is curious to see how our ” comfort zone “ expands as we move further away taking action and becomes smaller the less we move.
The key question: How to overcome that fear? How to achieve more self-confidence?
Let me tell you that achieving more confidence is a skill that can be trained . Then I tell you one of the best techniques to achieve it.
But first, I want you to know where that lack of trust comes from.
Why Do We Feel Lack Of Confidence In Ourselves?
There are many reasons that can explain it. Here are only 2 of the most common:
1- Your Thoughts Are Negative
The average human has 50,000 thoughts every day (although the figure is still debated). Of which more than 50% are negative ( 1 ). That is to say; More than half of our thoughts are “warnings to oneself”.
These negative thoughts come from past experiences . They are part of a survival mechanism.
But, many times this is set against us. It takes us to focus on fears, instead of focusing on our plans to get what we want . They also prevent us from demonstrating self-confidence.
It is not failure that is destroying your trust; is not to try again.
I recommend that you try to put that failure in perspective.
Think about this: if you already know that it does not work, then you can give yourself another chance and discover that it does work .
This can apply to anything in life.
Did you know that baseball players with the largest home run records (best plays) also have the highest punch records (worst plays) ( 2 ).
2- Your Expectations Are Pessimistic
Did you ever assume that you would have a tragic end and you were surprised that it was not so?
It seems normal to have the expectation that everything will go wrong, because only then you will not be disappointed if you fail and you will have a pleasant surprise if you succeed.
But, this logic is NOT the best way to deal with insecurity.
Research suggests that pessimism minimizes your performance . Creating that you effectively achieve bad results.
When you think something is going to go wrong, your performance decreases
But this is not all, here comes the worst …
We not only think about insecurity (fear), but we also express it .
Insecurity Is Expressed In Your Daily Life Without Realizing It
Nonverbal language is extremely powerful in your daily life ( 3 ).
Imagine that you just won a race. Surely your arms will be fully extended trying to occupy more space and demonstrate the great triumph.
Or, on the contrary, imagine that you are in a meeting with the bored of your boss. Your position shows that you do not want to be there. You are hunched over in your chair and with your arms crossed.
Your motivation or the lack of it, not only feels but is seen and demonstrated.
This non-verbal language has influence even where you can least imagine it.
Did you know that 70% of any candidate’s choices are influenced by their facial expressions? ( 4 )
Yes; Maybe you voted for your president just because he has a nice smile.
Not only that, the posture and our facial expressions have an impact on our mind and body.
A great researcher from Harvard, made an interesting experiment ( 5 ). He asked (at random) 42 participants who were in a triumphant stance or in a defeated stance for 2 minutes.
Before and after a sample of saliva was taken. The results were impressive:
People who had a posture of triumph or joy decreased their levels of cortisol (hormone related to stress) ( 6 ).
On the contrary, those who maintained a defeat pose increased their cortisol levels and therefore stress.
When we feel stress, our confidence diminishes because we are in a “defense mode”: prepared to flee or attack.
Imagine, maintaining a triumphant posture reduces stress levels by helping you feel more confident .
The same researcher carried out a second experiment ( 7 ). In this he asked some participants (randomly) to keep a triumph pose for 2 minutes. After that time, all participants (even those who did not have the triumph pose) had a job interview.
Curiously, the participants who approved the interview and were chosen for the job, were those who had the position of triumph before.
The effect was not only subjective but was also measurable. Perhaps, posture per se does not trigger hormonal cascades or positive events, but your brain, believing it is true, does (like a placebo effect).
Take Control And Practice Confidence In Yourself Today
I think we all can and should do something to increase our confidence. Only in this way will we be able to break that barrier of fear and begin to take action to improve our lifestyle .
It is not genetic, and you do not have to depend on others to increase your confidence. If you think you are not very competent, intelligent, attractive, etc … it is something that can be changed starting today.
Having more confidence in oneself automatically increases our levels of self-esteem
This does not mean that we have to pretend something we are not. But it is our thoughts and our bodily attitude that can change our mind.
And, as you already know, your attitude and bodily expression also influences how others see you (because it demonstrates self-confidence)
You do not believe me?
Remember the position of superheroes like Batman or Superman … It is a powerful position that inspires confidence, security, strength and courage, right?
It is precisely what you have to start doing from now on to have the confidence of a superhero.
This Is What You Have To Do:
This simple action can trigger positive changes in how you feel, what you think of yourself and how others see you.
Put into practice this simple action every day or before an important event (it will give you security when speaking) .
Before leaving home I will open my arms as if I had won a marathon
In the elevator when arriving at work I will take the pose of a superhero with hands at the waist
Before starting the car I will jump like a celebration of triumph
After showering I will stretch trying to occupy all the available space
On my desk before a meeting or an important exam I stretch my arms to feel comfortable and safe
Before an appointment with that special person I will take the superman pose
Believe me, this superhero or triumph pose does work.
I recently had a conference. I do not lie to you, my legs were shaking, my hands were wet, my mouth was dry and my heart was a mile a minute.
To be honest, I was afraid of not being able to speak properly in public.
I went to the bathroom and took the superhero pose (luckily nobody saw me). The nerves did not diminish, but I felt more confident to face the audience.
After all, the conference came out better than I expected. That pleasant experience is already stored in my brain as positive. The next time I am in a similar situation my confidence will be greater.
I managed to train my confidence in minutes!
So you already know what you have to do: every day or before an important event for you, keep for 2 minutes a position that makes you feel powerful (a).
Leave fear behind and put this simple strategy into practice today.